Ideas to put to respective authority figures...

A shock-collar type armband to prevent future scandalous activities to be used by the FA on England captains: Armband would be warn at all times and be synchronised with mobile phones, discharging irritable electric current to dissuade unsavoury text messages and phone calls.

Utilisation of techniques similar to the campaign to affect the winner of 'Christmas Number 1, 2009' to promote the success of a lesser political party: The creation of a Facebook group uniting users that are tired of the constant stream of bland, unappealing politics that are brought out by the heavily financed mainstream parties year after year and encouraging them to vote for more unlikely candidates. Contact Messers Clegg and Cable to confirm interest.

Creation of 'Fiction Journalism' in distribution of publicised periodicals: In order to account for the wide-spread desire for outlandish, typically scandalous stories, allow for allotted allowance of fabricated stories for each publication. This could be extended to allow entire publications to be entirely fictional. Should hopefully lessen the amount of  questionable practices within Fleet Street without actually changing the content at all.

Remaining issues to be addressed:

 - Global Warming: Can it be utilised as a reusable energy?

 - Obesity: Possible installation of fast moving treadmills in fast food restaurant queues.

 - Katie Price: Genuinely have no idea how she can be silenced. More brainstorming required.